I hear and feel a faint wind. I’m laying on something not quite cold but not quite warm either. I’m encased in some sort of suit. It speaks to me in the unfamiliar voice of an old hag. “Warning: Thermal protection falling”. I open my eyes slowly. Where am I? Green is everywhere. I’m in a suit. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know who I am. How did I get here?
I stand up. I’m Jason Bourne today I guess. There is a strange looking gun type thing on the ground next to me. Is it mine? I pick it up and look at it closely. Not twenty feet away from me a small creature scurries along, startling me. I aim the gun at it. It seems to notice me briefly, giving out a small, cute noise though it doesn’t stop its journey. I remove my trigger finger form the trigger. I may not know whom I am, but I do know that if that is a baby creature, a mother creature could be near. “Warning: Thermal protection falling.” I nearly jump out of my suit at that point! Shut up lady, you just added environmental liquid inside this suit with your beeping and your warning! Still, this doesn’t sound good. I check my HUD, it says I’m at 25%!
I look around. What do I do? Lo and behold! Behind me is a small outpost with an even smaller connecting trailer looking thing. I gotta get out of this green rainy burning whatever place I am in before hag bag beeping warning machine comes back on suddenly, to scare me back into more amnesia. In fact, maybe this warning system is the reason I have no idea what is going on! Still, I need to get on with it.
I realize as I run towards the trailer that I am in poor shape. I’m exhausted and my life energy is low. I barely make it 40 feet before I fall over in exhaustion. Almost there, a little knee craw gets me to the Emerald City’s door. But alas, the Wizard you are looking for is in another castle. At least the door to the trailer still opens. It is empty inside, other than a tanning bed looking thing, a small plant, and a chair. I sit.
What on Earth have I got myself into. Not really on Earth, actually. So, I guess the proper thing to say is “What on ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green’ have I got myself into.
I stream my adventures in No Man’s Sky at twitch.tv/thestreetrunner every Thursday.